Team Nicknames That Never Saw the Light of Day

Team Nicknames That Never Saw the Light of Day

In this age of political correctness, it’s not at all surprising that many of the more unique team nicknames have never been made public. But my sources have uncovered some of the more interesting monikers.

 

chicago cowsUDDERLY RIDICULOUS
The WNBA’s Chicago Sky thought to capitalize on their male counterparts’ nickname, Bulls, but WABTOOL (Women Against Bad Treatment of Obese Ladies) successfully lobbied against the team being named the CHICAGO COWS.

 

 

 

untitledVIVA THE MAN
This NBA owner wanted to name the team after himself à la Paul Brown, but decided against it after learning that all other owners would boycott games attempted to be played by a team named the DALLAS CUBANS.

 

 

 

69ersWHAT’S IN A NUMBER?
After years of futility, the 49ers went looking for a new image and a new name but stood pat when Planned Parenthood endorsed a proposed name change to the SAN FRANCISCO 69ERS.

 

 

 

corruptorsON THE HILL
When the Washington Bullets changed their name to the Wizards years ago, no one knew that only a congressional outpouring prevented the team from being renamed the WASHINGTON CORRUPTORS.

 

 

 

veggieTHE VEGETARIAN ALTERNATIVE
The Cheese Heads don’t know that if not for some “sage” last minute thinking years back, they would be rooting for a team wearing T-bone steak uniforms and cleats—the GREEN BAY MEAT PACKERS.

 

 

 

untitledTURNING OVER A NEW “LEAF”
Torontonians were deprived of a chance to see their team as never before when management realized that no amount of inventiveness could yield a uniform for a team named the TORONTO FIG LEAFS that met community moral standards.

 

 

 

troganPROTECT US FROM PROTECTION
In this day and age of corporate sponsorships, it took a strong moral compass for the USC Board of Trustees to turn down millions of dollars in grants offered by Church & Dwight Co. if the school would rename itself the USC RIBBED-TROJANS.

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