Ah, the 1970s! Too often sadly remembered as the Age of Disco (which, in terms of evolution, preceded the Bronze Age), this decade fills us with memories of uninhibited, causal group sex—as told by our friends, since we were never invited to participate—and, almost as importantly, the forerunners of today’s overtly sexual commercials. We went into the archives and found these sensual commercials from that time period. (Click on the underlined title links to see the commercials).
When Joe Namath tells you up front to watch him get creamed by Farrah Fawcett, you really thought it was about shaving cream. Your father was right. You really were a dumb kid. Farrah also did another Noxema commercial touting how the cream came out in great “balls of comfort.” Gulp!
Not one word is spoken, and none is needed. A rock song plays while the camera slowly pans along a heavenly woman’s figure as she lies on her stomach and side, starting at her feet, following the contours of her jeans, and up her torso to reveal she is topless.
If you’ve never studied—we mean really studied Joey Heartherton in her prime, “go git yerself a edyacashon.” This woman had one of the most smoking bodies of the decade. In this commercial, she simply dances for us, shakin’ what her mama gave her.
Three “stewardesses” (see “Defunct Languages Dictionary”) approach us on the runway and then walk past and away from us, proudly boasting that only this airline has women sporting hot pants. And to think that today we can’t even get peanuts.
DENIM BODY SPRAY
Sex starts in the mind and this commercial proves it. While a sexy female voice lauds the product; all we see are a pair of feminine hands (with red nail polish) playing with a denim shirt on a faceless (but lucky) guy. A different kind of “film” with no head shot.
DODGE CHARGER 500
A nerdy guy is about to make some sort of commitment to his equally nerdy girl, when some beautiful women admire his car, and then him. We watch him turn into the playboy we never became while we drove our parents’ Dodge Darts and Chevy Impalas.
Marcia Van Dyck was so wholesome she could have played Mary Ann on Gilligan’s Island. Sexy doesn’t always have to be drop-dead gorgeous.