The Advantages of 5 Love-Making Positions

The Advantages of 5 Love-Making Positions

In a prior piece (an appropriate word given the subject matter of this article), I wrote about the ways men like to do, or imaging doing, “it” (click here to read it). But in that article, I was just joking. Today, I discard humor for a scholarly discussion about the relative merits of five actual positions.

 

m fireMISSIONARY: Once she sees the tufts of hair protruding from your nose like crabgrass on a fine trim lawn, she’ll just want you to finish and get the heck off of her. And what’s so bad about that?

 

d fireDOGGY: You can catch up on your Men’s Health reading, since she has no idea what you are doing back there. Come to think of it, you really don’t have a clue what you are doing back there, either, do you?

 

c fireCOWGIRL: Unlike missionary style, you can lay back with your head on the pillow and relax. You can easily work the television remote with one hand while you toss back popcorn or peanuts with the other.

 

imagesCA4TPVRRREVERSE COWGIRL: This has all the upside advantages of the Cowgirl—unless she wants to watch Real Housewives of Tuscaloosa instead of the football game. Which is why you need to plan ahead and make sure you have the remote firmly in hand.

 

sfireSTANDING: The preferred position for those who want to strike and get out of Dodge. There is no pretense here. There is certainly no expectation of some post-coitus snuggling while the two of you are standing in the hallway. Nope, this position is all about the business at hand.

One Response to The Advantages of 5 Love-Making Positions

  1. Pseudo says:

    LMAO – so true