10 More Funny Quotes from Women

10 More Funny Quotes from Women

The Daily Quote  is a very big part of our site. And in case you haven’t noticed, every one of them has been uttered by a man. Believe it or not, women actually say some pretty funny things, too. So here are 10 funny quotes whose authors are women (if you missed Part 1, click here):

 

SARAH SILVERMAN
sarah silverman 
“I’ll tell you why we make fun of midgets: We’re not afraid of them.”

 

HEDY LAMARR
HEDY LAMARRR
“Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.”

 

KATHARINE HEPBURN
katherine hepburn“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.

 

LILY TOMLIN
lily tomlin
“Why is it that when we talk to God we’re said to be praying but when God talks to us we’re schizophrenic?

 

MAE WEST
Mae West“Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.” 

 

RITA RUDNER
rita rudner
“In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.”

 

LANA TURNER
Lana_Turner
“A gentleman is simply a patient wolf. “

 

BETTE MIDLER
better midler
“I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.” 

 

MARILYN MONROE
marilyn-monroe“Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.” 

 

ELAYNE BOOSLER
elayne boosler
“I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something’s wrong with me.”

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